Taut Nipples

Jesus sacrificed his left nipple for me, I swear.

2005-10-23T20:33:32Z

I was walking home from errands I had to do for Lainey at the laundromat (She's sick with mono or something), and was standing at the crosswalk dancing to some salsa music. I thought the crosswalk thing said i could walk, so I did, but I wasn't supposed to. So as I'm sliding and dancing and boogieing to some salsa musica, and this sports car is just speeding along, and BAM, it hit me.

Ten minutes later, I'm in the hospital with a broken arm and leg, and two fractured ribs. I got to eat jelly food for a day, and then Lollita came in when visiting hours were like, 2 minutes from being over, pulled a knife out, and stabbed my leg. And left.

The next day, the doctors come in, see the knife, and think I JUMPED IN FRONT OF THE CAR IN A SUICIDAL ATTEMPT. NO I WAS NOT LISTENING TO SALSA MUSIC AND THEREFORE DIDN'T SEE THE CAR COMING, IT WAS PURE...SUICIDE.

So I went to the Physiciatric Ward. In the first room they interviewed me in, this asian doctor dude was asking all these boogus questions like, "Sexual preference?" "Have you had gay sex?" "How many times?" "Have you given or taken oral sex?" "Have you worked at TACO BELL?" so as I was answering them, this nurse lady comes in and is like, "Who the hell're you?!" and the asian doctor guy bolts out the door.

Just kiddin. ;)

the hell

2005-10-19T21:44:43Z

Lainey, what the hell.

You don't poo and eat food at the same time. That's...that destroys the purpose of even pooeing!

What the poo.

I saw cashews in your bathroom trashcan while I was pissing (nearly missed because I was "WTF"ing) and you know, you are one complex, strange women.

In fact, I'd go gay if women weren't like, ten times more pleasing to have sex with than a guy. All because of you.

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO GO GAY, is what I'm getting at. Like Lea, but Lea scares me. You just...make me so confused I'd go fuck some dudes shit up. That's a threat, but I doubt it threatens you. You're probably, "Go ahead, kiddo, and I'll laugh SO FECKING HARD." ...:( owi

Damn, this post is turning out to be like, a public service announcement to Lainey.

my god i'm posting!

Turns out Lainey's computer isn't all that sparkles and shines, and died a few days back. Computerless, was I. Furious, was Lainey. Accusing me of looking at porn, was Lollita.

Lainey decided to take her revenge and wrote: "FAG COCKSUCKER ANUS PENIS GO HERE" on my pants. Right on my thigh. Right so the whole world can read it and give me strange looks. And then ask me if I'm gay.

WELL IF MY PANTS DIDN'T TELL YOU ALREADY, YES, I'M SO FUCKING GAY FUCK ME DOWN OH ME SO HORNY

And they were cool pants, too.
I'll get Elvis to fart on her, one of these days. Atomic farts = K.O!!

quinten_brown @ 2005-09-25T17:24:00

2005-09-25T21:31:54Z

Me: I like to get drunk and hump things.

Lainey: Stop joking and hand me back my meat grinder.

Me: I was being dead serious, Elaine.

Lainey's house is always fun!

I don't want to be a livejournal whore. Sex has turned out to be thoroughly displeasing and unsatisfying with it. (y'see that? Quint uses big words to sound like he wears glasses and eats 'crumpets' and has tea time.)

I filled out a TACO BELL employee thing the other day. Lainey said I should really put some effort into it, and try my damnest, I can't write worth a mango. Or pineapple. It ends up looking like a chicken attempted to write, but then the butcher came out from behind and yelled "WHACHU DOIN?!" and then killed it.

I answered the dumb questions like so:

How did you find out about TACO BELL?
WELL DUH I ATE THERE

Seriously. Where do they get these questions? Queen Elizabeth's ass?

Because there were so many dumb questions, I decided to write, "HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!! :)" at the bottom of the first page, and then drew them a flower on the next, saying "FLOWER FOR U!!!!!". My drawing skills are like livejournal sex: unsatisfying. Let's just say the flower was about as ugly as this green penis monster icon. Only less funny.

quinten_brown @ 2005-09-22T14:36:00

2005-09-22T18:50:18Z

That's what my new tattoo looks like -- only it's straighter. Right on my forearm. Lainey says she's "Opinionless but atleasts its better than Mr. T"

I have yet to know how to make it talk. Sure, a pineapple isn't threatening, but wouldn't it have been scary if I could make it talk!?

Me: My pineapple's yelling at you! GRAWR! MAKE BEEF CHEAPER!
Store clerk: ....*a man flexing his pineapple tattoo has left him speechless*

I got another tattoo, but who wants to make a star talk? Stars are suns. Suns equal extremely hot. Suns are scary enough. It's on my calf muscle, so it didn't hurt all that much either.

When I was waiting for el public transporation to the tattoo parlor, this guy next me (I can't decide if he's gay or not yet.) gave me this look, because you don't see too many straight boys prancing around in tight pants. Must've surprised Mr Gay But Maybe Not. Either way, after staring at me for two uncomfortable minutes, he leaned over and asked me if I was gay.

Since when do people have that right?

Yes, tight pants ride up my ass. Yes, they make me a little sore afterwards. But no, I'm not gay. Jesus! Not every man who wears tight pants plans on anally fucking a guy later that night! ESPECIALLY not a man he just met at a public transportation!

I gave him a kind of 'punk-kid-who-dropped-highschool-and-eats-hearts' kind of look before saying, no, I'm not gay. Tight pants just make my ass look fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

He nodded. To what, I don't know. Let's just guess that he was a total fag and liked my ass. His privelege, I guess. To bad he wasn't going to be getting any.

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to use that bus stop again.

You can't resist random Quinten facts.

2005-09-12T17:19:05Z

1. I've only dated 3 girls in my lifetime.
2. I have jade eyes. NOT CONTACTS YOU DINGUSES
3. I prefer people who don't know me to call me 'Karen' because then I can laugh at them. And know they may be future groupies.
4. I say I like parties, but I really don't. People are dumbasses and I hate them.
5. When I was younger, my aunt told people I had cancer to get their sympathy/money.
6. I lost my virginity at 12 1/2 to a girl I barely knew, at one of my older cousins parties.
7. My not-so secret wish is to be a Supah Hero, so I can crush buildings and demand piggy back rides. But I'd still be a supah hero, not a supah villian.
8. Speaking of piggy-back rides, unlike most males, they don't 'hurt' me in places.
9. One of my favorite movies is Pulp Fiction.
10. I absolutely love old rock music. Classic and what not. I can dance well to salsa, too.
11. I've kissed many many many many people because I prefer kisses over hugs.
12. My cousins made an elaborate plan when I was younger to prove I was gay (which I'm not). It involved my cousin Raymond, and a girl the girl I banged when I was 12 1/2.
13. I'm sort of loud during sex.
14. I found out my Mom died two years ago of an overdose only two days ago, and I don't even care.
15. There's a girl I know who I pretend to be friends with for the sake of another friend, but I'm not really her friend. I openly hate her type of people.
16. I've played the violin since my cousin gave me his trashy one when I was six.
17. I still own it.
18. It's hard for some people to imagine I had an even trashier house when I was younger (16-ish) than the one I have now. It was about the same size, but one day I kicked it when I was frustrated and...Uh. No more house. It go bye bye.
19. I have gone just as far with a guy as I have with a girl.
20. And I regret that.
21. I've watched porn since I was, oh say, 7?
22. I've had sex with 6 times as many girl's as I've dated.
23. I don't have an STD.
24. That surprises me.
25. My favorite type of alcoholic anything is Jägermeister. Don't know why, just do.

Took me about thirty-two minutes all together. I don't see why that matters, though... EMERELD I DEMAND YOU DO THIS--YOU TOO SE-LOVE SLAVE. :)

I usually don't do this

2005-09-11T18:58:37Z

But I found this supah quote,

Night time is so pretty
With all the s t a r s above your eyes

And thought I'd share. :)

As for the status on my tattoo...uh, Lainey threatened me with her effing meat grinder (I gave it back) as in, she'd stick my hole hand in there and then grind it -- rotten.com has a good source of images of what happens when you stick your hand in one -- so I kind of decided to not get one of Mr. T. :)

MAH NIGGAHS

Give me some suggestions. Tattoo money is burning a hole in my pocket.

quinten_brown @ 2005-09-08T21:39:00

2005-09-09T01:36:41Z

MR. T SAYS IT'S A-OKAY!

I don't know where I want his face to go. Maybe on like, my elbow or something, so I can make his mouth move and scare Lainey. I'll be P.I.M.P. with him on me. That's right. You heard me correctly! 'PIMP.' But with more periods.

quinten_brown @ 2005-09-04T15:21:00

2005-09-04T19:15:35Z

I itch.

...EMERELD YOU STUPID WHORE YOU GAVE ME STD-FLEAS

Grocery stores are my complex.

2005-09-03T04:02:03Z

(...did I use 'complex' right?)

So today, in need of food supplies for the wife and kids (read: Elvis) back at home, I went to the grocery store.

But...not just any grocery story!

Jesus, haven't you figured it out already that a grocery store cannot be a regular grocery store in a Quint journal entry?! It has to have a unique name. A name like...

"Variety Foods, Yum!"

And I'm not kidding when I say that's where I went today. It's really named that. In fact, I was informed that it was named/owned by an asian man who could barely get his engrish straight. No way. NU UH. Get outta town. His engri--excuse me, 'english' isn't bad! Not at all! Is good! Very good!

...Okay, yes, I'll fess up to buying beef. I swear, it's like a Quinten robot(<--since when?!)-malfunction if I don't check out what prime peices are in for the day. And while I was examining my lean beef, I felt a timid poke on my shoulder and turned around to see my...gay lover.

no. just kidding.

It was a girl who flirted with me religiously in highschool, that, "What's-her-face-hottie" that no-one bothered to know the name of but instead stared at her fiiiiiiine curves. Well, it was her and her curves (they're paramount) and she had that same seductive look she had when she talked 'dirty' to me in Math for Nobrains.

I forgot to mention that even though she has fiiiiiiine curves, she's a part of the itty bitty titty comittee. yes. SAY THAT TEN TIMES FAST HUHEMERELDHUH. Yeah, while her mosquito bites aren't the most pleasant thing to stare at, her face has grown a lot more 'adult' in the last few years.

I'm just glad it wasn't another run-in with my cousins. thankjesuslordinheaven.

Lah lah lah, it went like this:

I turned around to face her, smiled, and then said the common greeting we created in Math for Brainsno.

"Greetings, Master of the Universe."

She laughed, and then said her pre-created greeting: "Down, my love pet. Later."

I'll admit she's cool. Not so cool that I'd stick around with her as say...a 'friend', but we were well aqquainted. aquainnteed. whatthefuckever.

We started talking about what's been going on recently, learned some things I could have cared less to know about, and that's when she broke the good atmosphere:

"I heard you died. Good thing you didn't!"

Cracka, please.

Me? Die? Supah Quint does not die, you foolish itty bitty titty comittee member.

And, cracka who be spreadin' all this whishwash black bullshiz about me betta watch his ass, yo, i'd creep up your thong [backalley] with mah man-peeler [knife] any day!

"Oh...yeah. Who'd you hear that from?" I tried not to sound like my inner-black-self-ready-to-AH-NAI-HILL-ATE because 'man-peeler' sounds sort of creepy.

"You know, where ever!" Omg, leik, know I don't no!

After our mood breaker, I kind of felt like she was going to steal my perfect beef, so I kind of ignored her as she rambled on and on about sex, dirty things, flirtatious things, Barney (....hahahah! PHSYCE...PSHYCE? ) and was determined to find my beef.

Hm. I remembered her name as she spoke and as I searched for the perfect beef -- Mercedes -- and now that I think about it, she's like Lea the Stalker, only she has long, blonde hair (mid back) with brown streakie-things in it. Her breastisies are smaller than Lea's though. (I HAVEN'T BEEN LOOKING AT LEA SHUT YOUR MOUTH CRACKA)

Mercedes said she had to go -- she recieved a cellphone call in the middle of our conversation -- kissed me on the cheek and then went bye-bye. Yeah. That's basically how amazing my day was. (and as I was waving goodbye to Mercedes, an old lady snatched the beef out of my hand, i swear to god. she just took it and ran. an old lady...effing ran away with my beef. the fuck.)

Grocery stores are where things always happen for me.

Elvis seems to think it's alright to chase (read: waddle hurriedly) after anyone who walks by the house, scaring them shitless. I fed her some fluff the other day, and I think she thinks everyone will give her fluff now.

quinten_brown @ 2005-08-28T11:38:00

2005-08-28T16:23:27Z

[Your gender?:] Male, baby.

[Straight/gay/bi?:] As straight as

[Your birth day?:] I lost my calendar.

[Age you act?:] 5--4--3--6--4...I'm not sure. Sometime when you understand words but don't completely care.

[Age you wish you were?:] 5 or 4 or 6 or 3. Because then I could get away with things.

[Your height?:] I AM TALL LIKE ELEPHANT.

[The color of your eyes?:] Jade-ish.

[Happy with it?:] "Are you wearing contacts?" x10000000000000.

[The color of your hair?:] Black. Like octopus ink.

[Happy with it?:] It's shiney.

[Left/right/ambidextrous?:] Ambidextrous. I do plenty of 'things' with both hands.

[Your living arrangement?:] I can hear my voice echo in my house.

[Your family?:] ....HAH! Yeah. Family.

[What's your job?:] I don't do much. Been thinking about applying at some fast food place. Like Eat Mo' Burgers, or whatever it's called.

[Piercings?:] Four (I think?) on my lips, chin, and countless on my ears.

[Tattoos?:] On my arms, stomach, and back. Anti-love, a submarine, arrows, music note...annnnnd some other trippy shit I got when I was being a dumbshit who thought tattoo's were totally EXTREME.

[Obsessions?:] Oh ho ho! My seeeeellloooooooove slave.

[Do you speak another language?:]

[Have a favorite thing to say?:] G/Jeez and single action army is fun.

[Do you live in the moment?:] Yes. Ohhh shit yes.

[Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:] PFT no. I'll yell at a kid on a carnival ride if they start to cry.

[Do you like your handwriting?:] What...handwriting...?

[What's your biggest fear?:] I am Supah Quinten. I fly, shoot lazoor beams out of my nipples, and destroy things for the sake of humanity! I have no fear, you big silly.

[Can you sing?:] I leave that to Lainey. Though I'm sure I have a heavenly voice.

[Are you a loner?:] That's for emo kids. pssst lolllliiiittaaaaa

[If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:] Hell no. I'd probably brawl with myself if me or me-him stepped on my toe.

[Are you passive or aggressive?:] Aggressive. Hippies are the passive ones, right?

[There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you chose?:] Three wells? I'd accuse you of trying to be creative. SHAME ON YOU.

[How do you vent:] Through ways.

[Do you think you are emotionally strong?:]

[Are you confident?:] I can be Supah Quinten Confident.

[Do people know how you feel?:] Probably not.

[Are you perceived wrongly?:] Kind of, I guess. But I like it that way.

[Smoke?:] Chya.

[Talk to strangers who IM you?:] I tease them until they get their panties in a bunch and block me and/or pussy warn me. Because, oh shit, I called your mommah fat.

[Sleep with stuffed animals?:] HAHAHAHAHA

[Take walks in the rain?:] Rain makes my hair do strange things. looooolliiiiiitttaaaaa walks in the rain. oh yes. she emo.

[Talk to people even though you hate them?:] I usually just get my piece in, like when it comes to relatives who like to blab on and on about how much more awesome they are than me.

[Like to drive fast?:] ...:( No car.

HAVE YOU EVER.

[Liked your voice?:] I love me.

[Been out of the country?:] I've been to your MOMMAHS PLACE.

[Been in love?:] Yeah.

[Gone skinny dipping?:] Once or twice...I find it silly how you ask this after the love question.

[Ran away from home?:] I'm living away from the house I ran away from.

[Played strip poker?:] And won.

[Been picked on?:] Yeah, popped a cap in their ass too.

[Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?:] I get the feeling that you have...?

[slept outdoors?:] Mother nature and Quinten equals polar opposites, so yes. Because I like to tease mothers.

[Pulled an all-nighter?:] A lot.

[Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?:] Mm.

[Slept all day?:] Mhm.

[Killed someone?:] Shit, no. I've got plans to, though.

[Made out with a stranger?:] Yes. Yesyesyesyes

[Had sex with a stranger?:]

[Done anything sexual with the same sex?:] HAHAHAHAH I love Gee, remember, love slave?

[Been betrayed?:] Plenty

[Broken the law?:] Plenty

[Met a famous person?:] I'm famous, nigga.

[Been in a mosh-pit?:] When I was a crazy teenager. (Oh, I still am?! Well, shit!)

[Had a nervous breakdown?:] Plenty

[Considered a religious vocation?:] Jesus is my Homeboy, 'kay? Dig it.

[Bungee jumped?:] I wish I had money.

[Had a dream that kept coming back?:] i was going to say something corny, stopped myself, and wrote this instead.

[Shoe brand?:] Anything that fits my sasquatches.

[Brand of clothing?:] Whatever I find in my house that's clean.

[Cologne/perfume?:] Sexy Quinten smell.

[What are you normally wearing to school?:] Hah, school, yeah. I like orange and green.

[Judge other people by their clothing?:] If they're fat, maybeee.

[Wear make-up?:] I'm a dirty, dirty whore so of course.

[Favorite place to shop :] My floor. Duh.

[Favorite article of clothing?:] Nothing. I have a sex slave. Why have clothes...?

[Are you trendy?:] I don't try to be.

[Would you rather wear a uniform to school?:] Ha ha ha ha, schoool, yeah.

[Believe in life on other planets?:] Hmmmmmmmmm.

[Miracles?:] Jesus is my homeboy, remember? MIRACLE-TASTIC.

[Magic?:] Did Jesus do magic?

[God?:] ...Isn't that Jesussssss daddie? I wish my daddie was God.

[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?:] Wouldn't know firsthand.

[Do you wish on stars?:] Stars are suns waiting to explode. so no. I don't think I'm wishing something that a sun can grant.

[Do you consider love a mistake?:] Oh man. Almost said something corny again.

[Turn-on?:] Women.

[Turn-off?:] Men. A light switch on off. My hair as a reference to octopus ink.

[Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?:] I like knowing them. They could be apart of the Russian mob or a mermaid if I didn't know them.

[Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?:] Shit should I care.

[What's the last present someone gave you?:] Lainey bought me forks. And Elvis some shampoo.

[Are you in love?:] I loooooooove Lainey, what're you talking about?

[Do you consider your significant other hot?:] Lainey has big boobies. But she's a bitch. Dammit. I don't love her. Poor Lainey. :(

[What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?:] "Come to my bossom/lap!"

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON.

[You wanted to kill?:] Lollita. <3

[That you laughed at?:] Myself.

[That laughed at you?:] Lainey has this cough/sarcastic laugh she does a lot.

[You went shopping with?:] Myself.

[That broke your heart?:] I have no heart, you big silly.

[To ask you out?:] I don't get asked out! I'm Supah Quinten!

[To make you cry?:] I don't cry! I'm Supah Quinten!

[To brighten up your day?:] Emereld

[That you thought about?:] Lollita

[That you kissed?:] ........You know, Lea the Stalker kissed me the other day (and then was thrown out in front of a moving car). And now I feel the need to gag.

[You watched a movie with?:] Emereld and Lainey

[You talked to on the phone?:] Lainey

[You talked to through IM?:] I need IM.

[You saw?:] Lainey.

[You lost?:] Elvis.

[You thought was completely insane?:] Elvis did this totally crazy stunt today. She climbed on top of the fridge, and when I turned into the kitchen, flew onto my head and made this weird screeching/screaming skunk noise and I swear, if my bladder was full, it WOULDN'T have been after that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU

[Smiled?:] When Lainey accused me of stealing her Shark Vacuum.

[Danced?:] I boogied to embarass Lainey and Lollita.

[Laughed?:] When Lainey accused me of stealing her meat grinder.

[Cried?:] Didn't you already ask this?

[Bought something?:] Buying's for PUSSYs.

[Were sarcastic?:] Life is sarcastic.

[hugged someone?:] Hugs make me feel 4.

[Talked to an ex?:] What ex?

[Went out?:] Everyday.

[Sang?:] Lainey loooooooves my voice. Oh yesssssss she dooooooesssss. Yoooouuuu dooooo, pumpkin, yooooouuuu ddddooooo.

[Saw a movie in a theater?:] Hmm. I wish I had money.

[Said "I love you"?:] "Quinten...where the FUCK IS MY FUCKING MEAT GRINDER I FUCKING NEED IT GIVE IT THE FUCK OVER...WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU USE A MEAT GRINDER FOR?!"
"Lainey....I looooooooooove you!"

[Missed someone?:] I missed the bus to summer school today.

Shit, son, betta watch out!

2005-08-24T04:00:05Z

So, as preparation for the people who have offered to help sort-of repair my house, I decided to clean it up a bit.

...46 trash bags later, and I'm full of nostalgia.

Not only am I glad I can see my floor again, but I can't believe how many things were rotting away without me knowing! There was a hole in my living room, covered by misc. shit, that if I misplaced a footstep there, I surely would have fallen into an Indian Burial Ground that rests beneath my house. (I'm not sure if there actually is one...but, man, I'd so tell the newspapers!) I also found old posters I stole from my relatives house when I moved away. If anything good came from them, it was that they contributed and helped grow my love for classic rock and classical music. But fuck them. They don't deserve credit. *heart*

I was scared Elvis would fall into the IBC/basement-i-didn't-know-i-had beneath my house so I covered it with things she wouldn't/should not like. Like festering shoes I found. (Festering because I thought the mold on them barked at me. How shoes can grow mold, I have no idea. Kind of like the milk that appears on my porch. Ah well.) She seems to not like things that have a dime more foul odor than her.

And yes, I said festering. Like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family!

Now, don't get my wrong, Garbage Fairy, there is still work to be done. 46 trashbags was all I had, so yes, there is still garbage up the wazoo amidst the floor. My real, official reason for cleaning the floor was so Elvis didn't kill herself by eating glass/stepping on it. But ssssshhhh, maybe my friends will think I'm considerate. *heart*

I found things I thought the pimp under my bed ate. Like old cassettes and...uh...magazines I missed dearly on lonely nigh--o-of course, I couldn't possibly live without my magazines that pump me full of knowledge!! Yes! KNOWLEDGE!

Anyways, I think that's all this update deserves. A brief insight into Quinten Brown's life. Now that I think about it, that's probably how Lea the Stalker found out about me. By my stupid LJ name. Maybe I should make it less obvious I'm the man down the street in the caving-in house who has a pet skunk.

Ooooooh man, Elvis is so cool with her mohawk. :)

quinten_brown @ 2005-08-22T00:30:00

2005-08-22T04:40:39Z

Dear Garbage Fairy,

I have a problem. Not me, but my house does. It needs help. It's falling apart, slowly, and I'm afraid she'll cave in one of these days while I'm sleeping.

You may be asking yourself, "Wtf, i'm the garbage fairy. not house repairs" but you don't see that my house IS garbage, so therefore, you have work to do.

Now get off your lazy ass and sprinkle fairy, pixie, unicorn, whatEVER dust on my house and make it all better.

Love,
The man who knows where you live and will hunt you down if you don't do this. <3

quinten_brown @ 2005-08-19T23:13:00

2005-08-20T03:37:44Z

Oh man oh man oh man OH MAN

i don't even know where to start. jesus. ummmm

RIGHT

The Start.

you know that scary crazy, follow-me-everywhere-i-so-fucking-go stalker? yeah, her. well, she's CRAZY.

seriously. you don't follow people around. it's crazy. she's crazy. and i'm possibly crazy because of her. i have to watch my back every, what, ten seconds to make sure she isn't about to go insane-in-the-membrane and tackle me and steal whatever innocence i had left. which isn't much.

and she's not just crazy, either.

she's immortal.

i saw her get hit by a truck yesterday (she ran across the street to see me), and nearly screamed like a pansy when i saw her get back up. she probably had a broken arm (i hoped).

this poor truck driver, too. he's probably thinking: "Hmmm. What do women like? What does my wife like? Beef? I hear women like beef. I'll get her beef! Beef for her anniversary present. Yes, I'm such a smart truck driver, yes I a--HOLY SHIT, FUCK ON A STICK, I JUST HIT SOMETHING." i'm surprised he didn't run her over. communities of my hair clumps will forever be forgotten. them and their poorly illustrated faces.

i screamed because...i don't know. i wish she had died. i would have been the only one laughing on the curb, getting glared at by stupid old ladies who don't know who she was and will never know just how lucky we would all be if she died. well, that's what i think at least.

that's not the good stuff. no, that's not even funny. i got something better. something so awesome... the word awesome doesn't even begin to cover it!

okay.

imagine a skunk.

now imagine one with a mowhawk.

now imagine Quinten as the coolest mofo ever, walking his pet skunk with a mowhawk on the street.

wow. TOTALLY RIGHTEOUS or what?

oh boy.

and it's named ELVIS.

and it's a she.

oh man, i rock harder than ever before.

The Day Elvis Left the Building and Went to Quint's:

So I woke up, did whatever, went downstairs, and walked over to the front door. I should have you know that I'm paranoid to open my door now. I'm also going to blow a shit-fit if someones stolen my milk again. This is sort of one of those...Yoga Collecting Moments. Where I would breathe in an out, trying to control my thoughts, and then whip open the door and grab my milk as quick as possible. A 'rush.' But drugs and yoga don't mix, so whatever.

But today, there was no milk.

There was a skunk.

A cute, small, girl skunk on my decrepit old porch, and she didn't smell.

Didn't smell.

She was cute. But at the moment, I was going to stomp all over her and demand she go get me my milk she ate and is now inside her stomach. (Which it wasn't. I never got any milk that day.)

I picked up Miss. Wee-Cutie and brought her into the house. I set her on the table, examined her for Ebola, she checked negative, and vwa-la. I now have a pet skunk! She's a cutie, too.

When checking for ebola, I sort of noticed something attached around her neck, took it off, and examined that, too, for ebola.

"Elvis."

So my cute little skunk is named Elvis.

Whut now, son?!

Pet's are so cool.

After feeding Elvis some of last night's beef, I called up Lainey. She said I was crazy. The thing probably has a time bomb in it, and my house is going to blow up in ten seconds.

I told her, well, shit, if it was supposed to do THAT, then why have I safely had this skunk for over 15 minutes? Shit out of luck on that there, Lainey.

She said it would digest something on my floor, like glass, and die. I told her to shut up, hung up the phone, and adored my pet skunk.

Later on, I felt she needed to live up to her Elvis name, and gave her one snazzy mowhawk. Tomorrow, I'll ask Lainey if it's safe to dye skunk's hair green.

Now, I'm just hoping Lea didn't buy me this skunk. If her hands touched Elvis, I'll have to wash her a thousand times. She probably won't like that, nope, not my cute wittle cheeky weeky Elvis!

Lea the Stalker, if you're reading this, pull the trigger. Blow your life away. For me. Please. PLEASSDESFERHFRD <3

Zombies eat brains. Stalkers eat nekkid photos. :O

2005-08-10T20:51:24Z

It was the start of a day. A day...just like any other day. The sun says: Fuck you. The morning milk on my front porch says: Spoooooky. There aren't even milk men anymore! How did I get here?! :)

But when you reach down to pick up your suspicious milk and see a girl with short, blonde hair picking through your trashcans suddenly look up at you with such intensity (kind of like a deer in headlights -- you know, when you ask yourself: "Hey...is that a deer? OH SHIT, ITS NOT MOVING! -bvvewerrrrrooooooo! tire screeeeech-bamdeerdead-") and such fear and such wide blue eyes it seems to say: I'M YOUR MOTHER FUCKING STALKER, BITCH.

Oh, I'm not kidding.

As much as I'd find it flattering to have a stalker, I now have various reasons that lead me to believe I do not want one. There are reasons, which I shall list, but first let me introduce this stalker. This creepy stalker. This trashcan creepy stalker. This stalker who could be a playmate but instead spends her time picking through my trashcans creepy stalker.

Lea.

Like, Leah, but with out the H.

LEA.

LeA.

LLEEEAAAAAAAAA.

I was so scared, so very very scared when I saw her that morning, wearing a shirt with my face on it, her and her dyke spike, her and her blue eyes, her and her obnoxious laughter, her...her....she...she's scary.

Scary like

like

uh

Scary like Mc'donalds cancer-inducing fries. SCARY LIKE CANCER.

No!

Scary like Gary Coleman/Colemon!

EXCEPT SHE AGES.

Of course, she scattered away from my trashcans after I gave her a brief, confused look, then yelled (while throwing the milk) "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!?!?!?!?!?"

But it doesn't stop there. Oh no. It keeps going.

Just the other day, I open my door, grumbling, and see hair clump, neatly arranged hair clumps on my dirty little "Welcome" mat. Now, as I bent over to inspect these nicely arranged hair clumps, something dawned on me with such utter horror that I...I almost slammed the door on my nose.

They were my hair clumps. With little, Quinten-faces taped onto them. A community of hair-clump-Quinten-faces.

Then, this little stalker found out my phone number. Now she decides to leave messages every ten seconds. Some of her messages are the following:

"Hey! Just wanted to say hi so hi." I could hear her smile.

"HAW HAW BAWAG HAW -buck snort- BWAUGH HAW OHOY HOUY HEE!" Her laugh. For no reason. scawwie.

"Hey, just wanted to say hi, Quint. How're you? Doing good? Call me back some time. =) =) =) =) =)io45yurhegre" ):

"So, like, do you ever answer your phone? =)"

"I LOVE YOUR HAIR."

"OMG QUINT I LOVE YOU HAVE MY BABIES PLEASE"

"Have sex with me."

"...I don't have gonorrhea (...uh). Who told you that?" MY ASS.

"..............I love you omg make babies with me, pleaessesesesese hee hee heeeeeeessseeeee."

"Quint, I'm pregnant. Does Quint Jr. Sound like a good name to you?"

Just the other day, I found condoms on my porch, along with more hair clumps. Head hair clumps, thankfully.

I think this girl has a Quint shrine. As in, she catches pictures of me nekkid or something.

Oh bitch, I'm scared. I won't even take the time to list what scares me about stalkers. I bet her favorite number is 5.

I wouldn't doubt her camera has pictures of me. On the camera, I mean. The camera that takes my pictures to begin with,

.............

Does that mean she masturbates to me?

Oooooh, yeah.

2005-08-03T18:28:56Z

Before I forget.

Have any of you realized my moods on livejournal? Man. I was rereading some posts to see how much of an idiot I acted, and noticed how much of a pansy with their underwear in a bunch I acted. Or something along those lines. Oh! I got: LIKE LAINEY EXCEPT MORE WHINEY.

This is about the trip. Whoops.

Hmmm....

....err....

HMMMM...

Eh.

Uhm. I don't recall the last point I left off --I think it was that fatass dragging me to computer class, but errr.

LUNCH TIME.

I, being Quinten, am the biggest fan of lunchtime. Not because I could never afford it -- but because stealing became an expertise of mine in my sophmore year. "Hey, Jude, is that an alien?!" "WHERE?!" "Ha ha! Score! -steals cheeseburger, scampers away-" Stealing food was too easy, so I stole entire trays instead.

That's what I did three time in this stupid lunch period. Not that meatball grinders taste good (no, wait, they don't taste good at all. they taste like CAMEL ASS, excuse me....don't ask me what camel ass taste like!) but they come with some rockin' milk and side salad. School corporations think we'll be skinnier if they give us salad side dishes? Send Mc'Donald's to countries that need it, then. Like africa -- they could use a few pounds, ya know?

After eating the stolen milk and salads, I went outside to smoke. G-sus. Teenagers can't smoke these days or somethin'? As I started to drag, this crowd of "children" came over, either demanding one or saying it was against rules to do what I was doing. I just kind of stared, not saying anything, minding my own buisness when I heard someone mutter "Isn't that the sex change chick?" Soooo GREAT. Now people think of me as the sex change freak. Dammit. I hate English class.

I went back inside (First I gave some kid my cigarette, telling him to do whatever with it -- probably was so freaked a sex change wonder had just handed him something, tho') and to the next random class I went. HI HO SILVER AWAAAAY.

CHEMISTRY MOFO.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

Now, if you can't tell, I had the most fun in this class. This teacher accepted me as "Joshua Dwight" saying he was glad I finally "Let loose" what ever the FUCK that means. Let loose? What was this kid, a wet end? (...what's a wet end?)

I don't want to spoil my time in this class, as it is now a cherished, Quint memory, but I will say fire, screaming, mixing of chemicals, and smilies make me very, very happy indeed.

I can't remember much of the rest of the day. But I know I'll make another visit to Summer School before the year starts again. Or maybe I'll sign up in the office as some cool, Fabio student. Time will tell.

I didn't take the bus ride home, in fear of The Fatass. Did I tell you she named my back pack Sam? She effing named it! Named an inanimate object! WTFxx0rs!

So, I clicked my heels together and sped home. Home is where the heart is, yo. Or however that lame ass/camel ass phrase goes. <3

Lainey asked why my shirt had burn marks on it. Hee hee.

PEACE OUT MY NIGGAS!

Ow.

2005-08-03T17:55:53Z

My left man boob hurts.

...I think someone made a voo-doo doll of me.

...What does Hedonism mean?

2005-07-29T03:10:25Z

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|	13%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|	10%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Work ethic	\|\|	10%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%

<td>

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|	16%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|	16%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical security	\|\|	10%
Physical fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%

</td>

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:

messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture

I don't get it. Why can't someone be talkative yet DOESN'T make friends easy? These tests are never detailed enough for the Quint. So talking automatically means I have a "relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic" nature? What the hell? And me not being smart? C'mon. Just because I don't want to talk about quantum physics makes me dumb?!

They ask questions like "do you like to smoke and drink?" but where does that show up on these results? Under the Orderliness section or something?!

What the FUCK is mystical?

Whoo heee!!!

2005-07-29T02:50:52Z

What do you do when you're bored, your TV's broken, and Lainey's computer isn't anywhere around to be sabotaged?!

You board the summer school bus, you dingbat!

It all start out when I was bored. With no functioning TV. I broke it. Stupid Quinten. I tried experimenting with the controller again (also, for all of you dingbats in the audience, not edible) and decided to see if the VCR in the TV would spit it back at me. Instead, it decided to surprise me by making some really weird noises ("blllurrggg" "ruuurreeeruuurreeee" "whaassssuuuppp" among the weirdest) an then just shut off completely. Now it won't turn on.

So, sitting on my couch, I saw in the garbage cluttering the floor my old school bag. It's brown with all these buckles and it's pretty shitty looking. Ha -- Pun! Anyway, I picked it up, shook off the dust, and felt sad. I'd dropped out of highschool due to some rough times I was going through, but oh shittucky-mushrooms, I wish I had fucking passed. Staring at the backpack made me miss the school days, so I looked at the clock -- 6:30 -- and before I could yell at myself for being awake so early, I bolted out the door.

The plan was to go to school. That included riding the twinkie--er herm, I mean bus -- to school. The bus comes at 6:35 where I live. It takes 5 minutes alone to get there. I ran like Jesus, I tell you.

After chasing (yes, not catching) the bus, I plopped my tired ass down on one of the summer school bus seats, all giddy and excited I'd be going to school again.

Actually, I wasn't really giddy. I kind of realized too late that I do not miss school as much as I thought I did. It started to sink in once I met a girl named "Maria Salckovish" on the bus.

"That's a funny looking back pack you got there. All those buckles really necassary?"

"That's a funny looking face you got there. All those--is that your ass?!" Referring to her face.

"Haven't ever seen you on this bus before." Avoiding the subject? You bitch.

"I don't like twinkies." I'm deadly allergic.

"What?" HAHA CONFUSED FATASS.

"You look like your favorite snacks are twinkies, is what I said." I love being nice!

"How did you know?!" [/excuse my laughter]

"Bitch, please. You look like a rinocherous." I wanted to say, "Nigga" but I rather not get shot in public.

"You look like a crack baby." Ow, my inner feelings.

"I am."

"OHMIGOSH! I'm so sorry!" <3

"That's alright, fatass. I forgive you, even if you smell." I love being nice! x2

She stopped talking to me, thankfully. I'm not sure why though. She was only like say 100 pounds overweight. "Fatass" shouldn't offend you then, right?

After the horrible start on the bus, I jumped off of it in high hopes that the lunch today would be yummy in my Quinten tummy and that I wouldn't get bombarded with anymore fatasses calling me a crack baby. I was happy to know that one of those two things didn't happen.

After saying hi to some of the people I had been acquianted with in highschool, I decided it would be a nice time to pull out a cigarette and make myself a little less concerned.

I hate annoying teenagers full of angsty/horny hormones.

"Hey sexy, lend me one of those cigarette's, will you?"

"Whoreface."

"...What?!"

The first class I joined was "Spanish 1" and I actually learned something! Aloha isn't spanish. My bad. And seeing how this was my first class, I wondered how I would go around and actually do the class if I hadn't even paid for this lame ass summer course in the first place. It all became too easy.

As Mrs. Betters was calling out the names, some kid, "Fabio Fvch (Foosh)" was absent or something because when she repeated his name for like the fifth time, no-one had answered, so I gladly raised my hand and said after so long, "Here!" :) What a feelin'.

Sure, Fabio isn't the coolest name, but I had one AWESOME last name. Fvch. Seriously. That rocks!

After having some amusing spanish 1 time, I proceeded to the next class.

It turned out to be my most hated class. English.

Things got tough in this class. Or tight. Or whatever.

There was no-one absent besides a girl name Susan Greenfield, so I thought I was screwed. Then the teacher, Mrs. Merrymint, kind of scrutinized me in the back, frowned, and asked, "Sir in the very back -- did I call your name?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Who are you, then?" She looked at her list of names.

"Susan Greenfield, ma'am."

The whole class just kind of burst out laughing, and to make it seem more believable, I put on the sourest of faces I could create, and frowned like someone had my lips on hooks.

"You are, are you? I was under the impression that you were a man, Miss Greenfield."

"Sex change."

"Oh?"

"I could show you my hormone pills if you wanted me to..." I made this kind of, "oh please, don't make me do this" kind of face, and Mrs. Merrymint earns an A++ in being sympathetic towards the wrong person. Susan Greenfield was going to be the talk of the school, poor girl and her stupid sex change.

Aside from the sex change topic, things went easy in that class. We took a test (i accidentally wrote "taste" instead of test here. weird), all of which I answered as smart-ass as I could. I can't remember the exact test problem, but it was a little something like this:

Q: Make an alliteration.
A: the girl gave grandma Gabriels guts after Guss gobbled down G-sus.

I didn't know what class I wanted to sabotage next, but suddenly, I was getting dragged by the arm down some hallway -- Maria leading the way.

"I got computers next, Fabio!" How the hell she knew that was my first period name, I don't know. SHE'S G-SUS. "You do too!" I hate that sentence. I really, really do. While asking myself, "Why, God, why did I have to be nice to a fatass? Was I nice to her?" tha aforementioned (Love Slave <3) Fatass pulled me into her computers class and she situated myself next to her.

I like computers. But the crap school's have these days are unbearable. Compaq? If you call your computer that, bitch, PLEASE make it small. not big 'n bulky. and not shitty.

I'm sleepy. I'll write the rest later.

quinten_brown @ 2005-07-27T03:50:00

2005-07-27T07:48:45Z

Based on the popular Concert Select Silent Violin, the new Silent Violin and Silent Viola are particularly appropriate for serious amateur and professional performers. The new generation was designed to provide the most acoustic sounding tone on the electric market. The SV-200 Silent Violin meets the needs of serious performers with dual piezo pickups, a built-in quarter-inch jack and a studio-quality pre-amp to make amplifying and recording easier than ever. Where previous models offer three pre-set reverb options, the new violin adds an EQ dial and dual pickup balance, and features D'Addario Helicore strings as well. Finally, a re-designed lower bout allows any standard shoulder rest to be used. The Silent Violin is available in brown, black and two new colors - cardinal red and ocean blue.

WE WANTS IT PRECIOUSSSSS

Also:

You scored as DAVID BERKEWITZ. YOUR DAVID BERKEWITZ, ALSO KNOWN AS THE SON OF SAM, THE 44 CALIBER KILLER

</td>

DAVID BERKEWITZ

100%

TED BUNDY

92%

ED GEIN

83%

JOHN WAYNE GACY JR

83%

RICHARD "NIGHTSTALKER" RAMIREZ

83%

DAHMER

50%

ALBERT FISH

42%

WHICH FAMOUS SERIAL KILLER ARE YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

SCORE!

2005-07-27T07:31:19Z

i have decided to abandon capitals on the highway of grammar. they can starve and die of starvation, and i shall not cry. this is also a sort of "F-U" to Lainey. <3

dig this man.

i went to the park today, and met and befriended a quadriplegic hindu who's name is Shalin2 -- with the effing 2. man. i love being cool. Emereld, do YOU know any quadriplegic hindu's named Shalin2? didn't think so. se--love slave, do YOU?

we had a very merry conversation. it consisted of bizarre things, and i came to realize that these hindu folk are just what i was waiting for: crazy, ecentric, and smart. all in one! i can't even draw a metaphor of how cool they are. like...like when you get a big chunk of meat and there's no fat on it, only a good, healthy piece of meat. or something. dammit, i suck. i can't even explain how cool they are.

what kind of crazy, bizarre things did our conversation consist of, you poor, starving child in Brazil ask? why, of beastiality and politics, you big silly!

neither of us approve of beastiality (or politics), and it made one helluva good conversation. me and my quadriplegic hindu friend laughing over the dumbest things, with me chilling on a park bench, and he on his automatic scooter thing.

as i was writing this, there came a thought that i should try poetry again. you know, that emo bullshit your teachers always made you write in highschool? yeah, that. i will re-invent poetry.

thoughts, oh thoughts
you zoom around my mind like a bee
a bee, see
that I would gladly shoot with a
twelve gauge
emo sucks
so do bees
but quadriplegic hindu's
are for me!

I do not suck cock.

2005-07-25T04:07:21Z

jaba_san, I'm giving you dirty looks.

quinten_brown @ 2005-07-24T11:51:00

2005-07-24T16:15:35Z

Aside from my obnoxious Lainey tirade earlier, I felt like reliving some childhood memories today. But be "relive" I do not mean re-enact, I mean just sit on my couch, remembering them, while telling Lainey (She apologized in the most unsincerest of ways -- but I'm willing to forgive) and Lollita and whoever else they had brought with them.

:) I love my stupidity as a child. Amuses me endlessly.

Lainey: -talking to friend they brought along- Wow. So how much coke had he sniffed before he keeled over and di--
The glorious me: Oh, hey, do you remember when I used to live with them cookies?

Lainey knew what that meant, so of course she nodded, but Lollita just gave me a kind of..."as in chocolate chip?" kinda stare.

The glorious me: Yeah. Well, do you remember how big the front yard was?

Lainey and Lollita both nodded this time, because Lolly-pop remembers running away from one of my relatives once because he said she had "Breast cancer that needed to be inspected!!" She was less than pleased when she just winded back her leg and kicked him square in the balls. He didn't look to happy, if I recall. Then he said something about "mosquito bites" and hell, I'm getting off track here.

The glorious me: Well, I remember once when I went in the backyards forest, I fou--
Idiot Friend: Wait, you have a forest in your backyard?
The glorious me:...I just said that, yes.
Idiot Friend: Well, like, was it big?
The glorious, frustrated me:....It was a forest, man. Of course it was big.
Idiot Friend: Oh.
The glorious, less frustrated me: Uhm, Lainey, did I stutter earlier or is he really a shit-for-brains? (I'm so nice to men, if you couldn't tell)
Lainey: Stop calling me Lainey...get on with the story, dumbass.

I resistetteteteed her bait and continued with the story, ignoring how this wasn't the only time she called me a "dumbass" in the same day.

The glorious me: I went in there one day because I was making a fort in my big front yard and need some wood, but instead found this really cool thing. It was big, with all these cool cylinders stuff and tons of hoses. It also had this really cool sticker on it that looked like a skullified-Uncle Sam.
Idiot Friend: You had an Uncle Sam...?
Less than amused me: Uh, no. Anyways, I took it to the front yard and made it the sort of "flag" of my fort. My [snobby relatives name here] came out later, screaming and shrieking like she'd been stabbed (and I secretly wish she had), and I had no idea why. She smacked me a bit, and then told me, "Quinten, take that 3 foot BONG off my front yard! NOWW!!" Ha ha, man, that was awesome.
Lollita: Hey! I remember that! I was walking with my mommy down the street, and saw you creating the fort, and I thought the thing was real pretty, and pointedly told my mommy, and she just sort of...paled when she saw it. I think she hurried me home and asked that I take a shower.
Idiot Friend: You roll around in shit that day or what?
Lollita: . . .No.

Lainey brings the most fucked up people she knows to my house. She should brick him, not me.

Hm. I think I'll accuse anyone who pisses me off this week, "someone who wants to brick me" because being beaten to death by a brick is both humorous and pathetic. And scary. Lainey, you're scary.

WHORE.

2005-07-24T06:31:26Z

Lainey, you fucking technology-skank -- why do you have to have all these cool gadgets? Without you and your awesome laptop, I'd have no livejournal. But fuck, why are you such an intolerable bitch sometimes? You always sound like to want to beat me with a brick any moment you could. Brick's fucking hurt, you know. And your unneeded smart-ass-fuck comments whenever me or Lollita do something wrong because -- OOPS! we forgot how perfect you are and how perfect we need to be to live up to your standards!

Huh? Why am I the one stuck without friends? A bitch like you has friend? My slightly overused "Niggah, Please" phrase goes here!

It doesn't help addressing my "problems" as me being the "biggest dumbass since the neoliphic stage", either (not mention I don't even know who or what "neoliphic" is). And calling me someone who "laughs at all there problems but never makes them better" (followed by a tirade consisting of completely out of place comments like "I only add salt to my wounds" and whatnot) makes me want to attack you. I would savagely tear off your pretty little face and claim victory of the Lainey Beast. 100k exp points, lvl up.

And you know what? All because I wanted your fucking slushie when we were in the mall today. Don't claim I have the munchies when I really don't. I have the right to be hungry and steal my friends fucking drinks. Friend have that fucking right! Go like look it up in a friendship book or something! fuck

UGH. Lainey. You're making me out to be an emo wreck. Which I'm not -- but you make me upset so fucking much I could be emo in denial.

There you have it. A lovely bitch/rant about how my day went with Lainey today. Jeebus, I hate when she starts to talk. I always end up being a dick to her, or her to me. We act like fucking brother and sister. Sickening.

aluhfsog

2005-07-23T14:18:59Z

I hate the hassle of having long hair sometimes, I really do. I should just hack it all off and make my life as a man much easier. (Not to mention I get hit on by 30 year old men sometimes. What? Does having long hair automatically make you GAY?! wthsaveme)

Really, I do love to get a nice trim. As unmanly as that sounds, I like getting a trim because I feel like my hair will go to peices otherwise. What I do not like about the aforementioned (<--- Moll--<i>Sex Slave</i> knows such amazing words. I mean, for a sex slave.) is a hairdresser it implies.

Especially hairdressers who you don't think are paying as much attention to your hair as they are to saying how cute you are.

"You have such lawvly hair! Gawgeous hair! I lawv it!"

That's nice, bitch. Now get with the scissors and trim them slit-end-mothafuckas off.

And you know what else is nice? When they continue to wash hair, cut, and blowdry all while talking.

"Do ya' straighten it? It'sa so straight! My, and do you dye it too? It'sa so black!"

Bitch, please. Don't act as if some men don't have naturally "gawgeous" hair, because you scare me. You did go to beauty school, right? I'd hate to have some murder snipping my hair and then suddenly STAB MY EFFING JUGULAR.

Whatever. When this hairdresser/crazy bitch was doing my hair, she fucking BURNT MY SCALP TO SINDERS.

Her: -talk talk talk, rant rant rant, use funny words like "lawv" and "gawgeous"----BURN QUINTEN'S SCALP talk talk talk-

I swear. That's the last time I go to a place called Fancy Trim because TRIMS CANNOT BE FANCY. THEY ARE TRIMS. DEAL.

I was tempted to ask if the lady had really gone to beauty school. But then I realized we were barely a safe distance away from one another. That crazy bitch would have jumped the counter and attacked me and my gawgeous hair, y'know? She scared me so much.

Sex Sla--Molly, I thank you for knowing some of the coolest words, like, ever. You are the best sex sla--friend. <3

(HAHA, EMERELD, I HAVE A SEX SLAVE AND YOU DON'T. EAT IT!)

quinten_brown @ 2005-07-18T15:19:00

2005-07-18T19:14:44Z

Your Silver-Age Superhero Career

LJ Username

Your alias first-name is:

Your alias last-name is:

You can turn....

...into:

You team up with...

...to battle:

Satan

You petition to join:

the X-Men

Their response:

they just shake their heads adamantly

You are best remembered for:

an ill-advised series of low-budget erotic movies now shown perpetually on "SuperCinemax"

Your heroic level: - 74%

This cool quiz by sigma7 - Taken 72581 Times.
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New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

What

Now

Bitches.